unbelizeable

2.15.19

2:04pm - belize time

so we are currently on our boat ride back to land. we came to lamanai city to go to the mayan ruins today. WHAT. AN. ADVENTURE.

let me just say this, i am SO proud of myself (& my babe) for pushing ourselves WAY outside of our comfort zones & fears during this trip. i am amazed at the freedom i allowed myself to have to experience so many new things. 

yesterday we had a 90 minute ride to go cave tubing, but once we arrived we decided to join in with our new friends (caitlyn & todd) and go ziplining through the rain forest! IT WAS INCREDIBLE. i do NOT like heights, but i was dang near fearless after our practice line! 

the views from the ropes were just.. i don’t even have a word! the water below was so green & blue! all of the palms that were more feet than i ever realized they could grow. 

cave tubing was so fun & educational! and don’t let me leave out the fact that i walked far carrying my intertube - we hiked an extra 10 minutes to be able to tube through 2 caves instead of the normal 1 that most get to. which also led to me peeing in the jungle.. shrugs. babe cliff dived after our hike with caitlyn & todd. i climbed onto the cliff.. then climbed back down. i conquered ziplining & my head said no more girl, haha. no but really, i am so proud i am experiencing all of these things while pushing myself, while also knowing when it’s okay to say “thank u next.” lol.

today we just saw the ruins, and my are they beautiful & TALL. but we conquered them like beasts! i can still hardly believe i took our leader’s hand & let him guide me to the highest top of pre-classic ruins! the view overlooking the lagoon & trees.. WOW. 

it almost seems silly to me to try & blog about this trip because nothing i jot down will do it justice, not even halfway. 

our tour guides have been so fun, hilarious, informative & amazing people in general. i am so grateful to have met strangers turned acquaintances & hope i get to see their familiar faces again in this lifetime, sooner than later if i get my way.

on the way to the ruins by boat we stopped several times to view crocs, many different kinds of birds - if you know me very well, you know i’m terrified of birds.. welp, not anymore! from fear to fascination! woo hoo!, and we saw some really neat greenery - including the coolest to me - the snake cactus! [look it up!] 

i am trying so hard not to think of going back home to the states. if i could stay here for a long long time, i would in a heartbeat. this trip has been so much of what my heart + mind have needed, without even knowing it. i am already yearning for what’s next. what else will set me on fire this year? i hope these feelings last a lifetime, i have a great sense that they will. 

belize, you are bonita! thank you for everything. 

xoxo,

L.A.

p.s. today - march 14th, i am still so sad to be so far away from belize. it truly touched my life in so many amazing ways.

the sleeping giant

2.14.19

9:34am - belize time

in belize, we are riding in a caravan right now on our way to ziplining & cave tubing. the scenery on this trip is so beautiful, just stunning. so much greenery, palm trees, random horses on the side of the road. it’s insane, insanely gorgeous.

a few minutes ago we passed some mountains in the distance & when you stare at them you see a figure of a man. our driver said they call him “the sleeping giant.” 

i snapped some photos (one posted below) & then i kept staring at him & thinking how appropriate to see something like this on this particular trip.

last weekend my depression decided to fight its way back into my space. i had been doing fairly well, even with the changes of moving a few weeks ago. but alas, here came the roaring giant that is depression. sunday i spent the day on my couch crying. monday & tuesday i slept so much, feeling numb & feeling everything. it is exhausting & really takes a toll on my body, draining any energy i have. 

but yet, here are we, my boyfriend & i, in one of the most beautiful places i’ve ever seen in my life. in the quiet moments i feel it, it’s lingering. 

but while exploring our resort yesterday & speaking to so many new (super kind) people, i felt my head lifting. 

i have been praying for God to conquer my depression, i literally asked Him to stomp on it, squish it dead. and i believe He will.

the timing of this trip probably seems to most that it was planned because today is valentine’s day, but it wasn’t. this day just happened to fall in between the dates that worked for us. 

don’t get me wrong, the resort is VERY romantic & i am glad to have that for babe & i. it just wasn’t our sole purpose of being here. for christmas we decided we wanted to gift others what they wanted, and what we wanted most is to travel more while we can. so here we are.

my sleeping giant may not be as beautiful as the one i just witnessed, but my God is bigger & absolutely beautiful, so i am believing in Him that these ashes will be turned into all things beautiful. and regardless of how long it lasts, no matter how many times it comes back, i will keep praising my God the whole way through, for He is ever faithful to me. 

i feel peaceful right now simply from just letting these thoughts go from my head to my writing. 

i am excited for today’s adventure & depression can kiss my tush. 

xoxo,

L.A.

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through the cracks.

9.2.18 - 2:48pm (italia time)

grow where you are now. don’t wait until the concrete breaks to bloom. you’ve got this.

riding on the tour bus through roma, italia - there was this beautiful burnt orange colored wall & these very pretty plants had grown through the cracks. it made me think, wow.. such a hard spot to blossom in, but there it is, happening anyway.

why do we feel so hesitant to wait until the hard things stop before trying to grow? we should be more like the plants on that wall & keep pushing forward. 

often times i believe we limit ourselves, waiting on the “right” time. there is no such thing as the right time for so many things we try to do. we ought to just live our lives without waiting. if we keep pushing through, we become the beautiful thing in spite of something hard that tried to stop us. 

this trip to italy has been such a surreal experience for myself. i soaked in every bit of the gorgeous architecture around me. i ate what i was served without being picky (& if you know me well, you know that is so opposite of my norm). i listened to all the accents around me & made conversation with so many strangers who i will most certainly miss. i grew an even stronger yearning to see more, do more, BE MORE. i even started a new career while here because this trip made me realize, IF NOT NOW THEN WHEN? i needed to take a leap. i needed to put my words i’d advise to anyone else, to action for myself.

i am so incredibly grateful for this opportunity to experience life on the other side of the world. i will sorely miss italy & everything it gifted to me. 

xoxo, L.A.